Yes, I get so angry when I hear stories from my partner’s world as a single dad. It’s brutal. And I agree that all genders need to learn that caregiving isn’t (only) woman’s work, that anyone who is a carer can do it, that it’s hard for everyone, and that DAD ISN’T BABYSITTING; HE’S PARENTING. SO IS STEPDAD.
Oh, man, I feel this one. It's incredible how many progressive people still have a hard time understanding that men are competent as caregivers. One thing I hate when I'm single parenting is other people's sympathy, the hangdog "how are you holding up" sentiment. Sometimes it's a lot, but it would be for any caregiver since I have three kids. In that situation the best response is encouragement -- "you're doing great" -- not the implicit suggestion that as a man I must be in over my head.
This might not be the place for the following comment, but I think that progress toward domestic equality will depend, to some degree, on women ceding control not just over caregiving, but how the caregiving is done. Dads aren't inferior parents just because they do things differently or don't read all the latest parenting books. The most damaging outcome of the trope you describe is when dads end up being micromanaged by their spouses. That doesn't reduce work for anyone, and it actually gets in the way of equality. Dads are not likely going to compete for the most picturesque lunchbox on Instagram, but that might actually make them more efficient. End of rant.
Yes, I get so angry when I hear stories from my partner’s world as a single dad. It’s brutal. And I agree that all genders need to learn that caregiving isn’t (only) woman’s work, that anyone who is a carer can do it, that it’s hard for everyone, and that DAD ISN’T BABYSITTING; HE’S PARENTING. SO IS STEPDAD.
Oh, man, I feel this one. It's incredible how many progressive people still have a hard time understanding that men are competent as caregivers. One thing I hate when I'm single parenting is other people's sympathy, the hangdog "how are you holding up" sentiment. Sometimes it's a lot, but it would be for any caregiver since I have three kids. In that situation the best response is encouragement -- "you're doing great" -- not the implicit suggestion that as a man I must be in over my head.
This might not be the place for the following comment, but I think that progress toward domestic equality will depend, to some degree, on women ceding control not just over caregiving, but how the caregiving is done. Dads aren't inferior parents just because they do things differently or don't read all the latest parenting books. The most damaging outcome of the trope you describe is when dads end up being micromanaged by their spouses. That doesn't reduce work for anyone, and it actually gets in the way of equality. Dads are not likely going to compete for the most picturesque lunchbox on Instagram, but that might actually make them more efficient. End of rant.