Problematic Toxic Masculinity Tropes

In our next series of pop culture commentary, we’ll be talking about the menfolk.

Introduction

The youngest son of a youngest son enlisted in the army, and served as long as the war was long. He was brave and he was valiant, and all went well during its duration. Once peace was gained, however, he had no more brave deeds left to do, and he was dismissed honorably from the military. His parents were long dead, though, and he had no home, so he went to his brothers to ask for their hospitality until he could find his footing, or was asked once again to war. His brothers both were hard-hearted, self-serving men, and they each turned him away, saying, “You’re of no use to us. Go make your own way.”

Desolate, with only his gun and the clothes on his back, the young man wandered off, walking and walking until he found his way to a wide meadow, with a circle of trees in which he sat down to contemplate his fate. With no money and no skills other than those of war, he soon realized he was probably destined only to starve to death. 

As he sat, forlorn, he jerked up his head: the rustling of tree branches and grass marked the approach of someone—a man, who wore a long green coat and fancy hat. This man greeted the young soldier courteously, and looked like a man of some moment, but the soldier saw the cloven foot as the man approached. That cloven foot told the young man who this elegant man must be.

“I know what you need,” said Greencoat. “And you’ll have it—all the money you could want, for all the rest of your life, I will give you, if only you prove to me your bravery. I have no wish to bestow my money on a fearful man.” 

“Soldiers and fear hold no truck with one another,” replied the young man. “Put me to the proof, if you don’t believe me.”

“So. Look behind you,” said Greencoat.

Coming rumbling up fast, roaring like a locomotive, was a huge brown bear. 

“Ah,” said the soldier, “You’re a fine beast. Why don’t I give your nose a tickle, so you don’t growl so loud?” and he put a bullet right through the bear’s muzzle, to its brain. It fell down dead.

“Well well,” admired the green-coated man. “I can see you don’t lack in bravery. Good. But there is one more condition you must fulfill, before I will deliver to you your wealth.” 

“As long as it does nothing against my salvation,” said the young man, “I’ll do it. If it puts that in danger, I’ll none of it.” He knew who Greencoat must surely be, with that cloven foot of his.

“Nothing to fear for your salvation,” said Greencoat. “Here’s the deal: you must, for the next seven years, nor bathe nor comb nor cut your beard or hair, nor cut your nails. You will wear a cloak and a coat that I give you, and will wear and sleep on nothing else. If you die during those seven years, you are mine. If you live, you are free, with all the riches you could possibly want, for the rest of your life.”

The soldier had many times in his young life ran very near to death, and it seemed like this risk wasn’t as terrible as those times in war. He agreed to the terms. So the Devil (for that’s indeed who it was) took off his green coat, and said, “This coat’s pockets will always be filled with money, as long as you wear it, each time you reach into these pockets, they’ll be full.” Then he took the entire skin off of the slain bear, put it on the soldier’s back, and said, “This is your cloak, and only bed. Because of this garment, you will be called Bearskin. In seven years, if you are still alive, you will reap the rewards I promise.” And with that, the Devil disappeared.

The young man in his green coat and bear skin reached into a coat pocket, and indeed there was a fistful of money. So he pulled the bearskin further over his shoulders and went out into the world to live. He lived as best he could, and was called Bearskin, and spent his money freely, not only on food and lodging for himself, but frequently he gave lots of his everlasting money to the poor, and to churches, asking them all to pray for his life each time. 

The first year of this, he looked a bit rough but not too awful, but by year three he was feared as monstrous. His hair was long and matted and his scruffy, scraggly beard almost covered his whole face. His skin was so dirty that they said if you scattered seeds across his cheeks, there’d be wildflowers growing there in a jiffy. His nails were long claws. And he smelled like an entire farmyard. But he always had money, and so always usually found a place to sleep anyway.

Until one night late in Year 4 of his trials—the landlord of an inn refused to let Bearskin stay in the inn, or even in the stables—he feared that Bearskin would scare the horses. But the handfuls of money turned him around, a little. Bearskin was offered a room in an outhouse way back in the yard, with the caveat that he not show himself at all, lest he give the inn a bad name.

Late that night, from a nearby room across the way, Bearskin heard the sound of weeping and lamenting. Having a compassionate heart, he knocked on and opened the door to the sound and saw an old man in despair, weeping and wringing his hands. He jumped, startled, and was afraid when Bearskin appeared, but he spoke to him with such a gentle (and human) voice that the old man ended up telling him his troubles. He was destitute, his own land having dwindled and degraded to nothing, and now he had no money and no work, and he and his daughters were behind on their rent and were about to be kicked out. Well, obviously money was no object to Bearskin, and he gave the old man everything he needed to pay the innkeeper and have a place to live, as long as he and his daughters needed. 

The old man was beside himself with gratitude, saying, “Come with me and meet my daughters! They are all miracles of beauty, and you will take one of them to wife. You do look a little strange, but when they hear what you’ve done for us, they’ll surely be willing.”

Bearskin happily followed the old man into an adjoining room where he found three of the most beautiful women he’d ever laid eyes on. The oldest daughter took one look at him, screamed, and ran out of the room. The second daughter looked him up and down and sniffed, then, plugging her nose, refused such an ugly creature, saying he must be wild and stupid as a bear too. The youngest daughter, though, looked into Bearskin’s eyes and saw kindness there. “Father,” she said to the old man, “this man must be very kind-hearted, to have done what he’s done for us. If you’ve promised him a bride, that promise must be kept.”

And so they were betrothed. Bearskin took a ring from his filthy finger, broke it in half, and gave half to his bride, keeping the other half himself. “I have three years left in the contract I’m bound by. If I don’t return in three years’ time, you are free, for that means I’ll be dead. But pray for my life, all the same.”

So saying, he left.

The youngest daughter dressed all in black mourning, and endured the mockery of her older sisters, for that whole three years. They warned her of his sharp claws, jeered that she’d be eaten alive like the sweet treat she was, and more cruel mockeries. Meanwhile, Bearskin kept at his wanderings, his distribution of his magical coin, and his requests for all who met him to pray for him. Finally, the entire seven years was up. He was alive; he was free.

Returning to the meadow with the circle of trees, he found the Devil there, waiting, astonished. “Give me back my green coat,” said he. 

“Not so fast,” said Bearskin. “You must first acknowledge I’ve fulfilled my contract, and then I need to cut my hair and nails and beard, and I need a washing.” The Devil, annoyed, did all these things for him. And then, back as his old handsome shining self, he set out for the old man and his daughter, all his magical wealth set for life. 

When he arrived at the old man’s house, the two elder daughters were thrilled to find a handsome and apparently rich young potential husband riding up to their very door. They ran off to change into their finest dresses, thinking he’d choose one of them to wed. Nobody recognized him as Bearskin, of course. He spoke kindly to the old man and the daughter, his bride, still wearing black, who answered him softly, eyes downcast. 

Then the handsome stranger poured the youngest daughter a cup of wine, dropping his half of the broken ring into the cup. When she’d drunk the wine and saw the ring-half, her eyes lit up and she took her own half of the ring to see if they fit together as one. They did so, and the young man formerly known as Bearskin made himself known to his bride and her father. They were both delighted to see him again (especially clean and handsome and smelling fresh). But the older daughters, rushing back in with their fine clothes on, were so angered and upset at the reunion, that they ran out in a rageful huff. One of them drowned herself in the old well, and the other hanged herself off a tree.

Later that evening, a knock came at the door. When it was opened, there stood the Devil in his green coat. “I came here to thank you,” he said, and told them of the other daughters’ death. “Now I’ve got two souls in place of your one.”

Civilized man looks back at wild man, or, Iron John. A different story than the one above, but similar. And probably familiar to you because of Robert Bly’s work.

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Bearskin / Donkeyskin

Remember the story of Donkeyskin/Patches/Cap o’Rushes, from the Problematic Badass Female Tropes intro? The tale I just told above is called Bearskin, and it’s a German folktale that reminded me so much of Donkeyskin, except it strikes me as being a masculine version of the story. The similar components are there: the magical ugly skin the hero wears to disguise themselves and their virtuous inner nature; the prejudice and nicknames they suffer under it; the grueling work and degradation and dirt each hero endures; the finding of a true love and the not-recognizing them until later when a special promise ring is discovered in the bottom of a cup or bowl. The journeys and hardships and the happy marriage at the end. But the particulars of this one is … well it rings as more masculine: you’ve got the meeting with the Devil instead of a horrible father, you’ve got the military aspect and the valiant deeds, and the riches in this case belong to our hero, not to the hero’s family or new spouse. 

I thought I’d provide this overview and introduction to the next Wednesday series coming up to all my readers, not just the paid peeps, the way I did for the PBFTs. If this series looks interesting to you, upgrade to paid and you can follow me on my journey into another series of seven tropes.

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If you’ve been following my Problematic Badass Female Tropes series, you’ll recall that the central argument to all those discussions was that those tropes restrict and weaken strong (read: badass) women characters. The bait and switch problems of each PBFT was the dangling of the “badass” in front of us to distract us, while assuming that the character’s strength is enough to make us not notice nor care about the inherent misogynistic structures she has been constructed with.

This companion series looks at seven Problematic Toxic Masculinity Tropes, and its central argument differs somewhat from that of the PBFTs, though of course the two sets of problematic tropes are intricately and innately connected. This next series centers around the inherent assumption that men are strong and dominant. Where the PBFTs focus on the bait and switch of the strong female character that’s in fact not strong but subservient to men, the PTMTs focus on the false labels of strength in male characters, as well as the narrow, restrictive, and damaging definition of what it means to be a strong man.

Both sets of tropes do similar things; both are examples of problems of gender norms, stereotypes, and power. We will learn as we go through the male counterparts to the PBFTs that both sets of Problematic Tropes affect how media and entertainment express characters of all genders,* and that all these problematic trope characters have a negative impact on the real people that consume and admire them.

*You may have noticed I discuss only the male/female binary genders in these tropes analyses, and that’s because of one reason: Hollywood (and Hollywood’s big-time counterparts in other countries) still only recognizes a gender binary. The appearance of nonbinary genders in media and culture are very few and far between—since those mass media and pop culture creations stick to this binary, the binary genders are really the only ones these tropes deal with. You could say that One of the Guys is an exception to this rule, but not really—the gender fuckery that happens in that character trope doesn’t subvert the binary, it arguably adheres to it even more than the others do. 

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Overview

But first, what does this trendy phrase Toxic Masculinity actually mean? In the continued wake of the #metoo movement and the poisonous messages of such men as Andrew Tate, Jordan Petersen, and Donald Trump (amid many others), the phrase Toxic Masculinity is being bandied about by feminists of all stripes, often as a way to summarize aspects of misogyny or shut down conversations. I want to start conversations by writing about these tropes in detail, not shut them down, so real quick let me give you, dear intelligent readers, my working definition of what Toxic Masculinity means (at least as far as these discussions go).

In a nutshell: Toxic Masculinity is the harmful view (ingrained in our patriarchal and heteronormative society) that if a man does not dominate, he is not a man. Domination of all things (from one’s own emotions to other people) is the key poison that puts the Toxic in Toxic Masculinity. Also remember: just like the Problematic Badass Female Tropes were, the Problematic Toxic Masculinity Tropes are not examples of what real men in the real world are actually like, but rather are problematic expressions of masculinity in the forms of characters in popular culture, art, and entertainment, and as such are influential to those who consume and attempt to emulate them. I want to point out the problems in these characters so that we can be aware of what the tropes are doing to us even as we continue to enjoy our media.

I have previously published full articles discussing these seven tropes, just like I did with the PBFTs*, but first (as indeed I did with the PBFTs), I’d like to share the bare basics in a rundown of what you can expect from these new magnificent seven:

*The first 3 Problematic Toxic Masculinity Tropes appeared originally on Writers HQ, and the rest on A Wandering Road. They have been revised and altered since.

1. Go Big or Go Home
As a man, the only choice you have for beauty is to be big and muscular. Thin, short, “feminine” or small men aren’t men, and certainly aren’t desirable. Where women are told by culture to lose more and more weight, diminishing themselves to invisibility, men are told they are nothing unless they take up more and more space, and are physically strong to boot.

2. Grow a Pair
Pop Culture Detective’s excellent video article, “The Case Against the Jedi Order” describes the “Grow a Pair” trope well. Basically, boys are taught at very young ages to man up, grow a pair, boys don’t cry, etc. which means by the time they become men, they are not able to express emotions healthily, or even at all. The Jedi are a prime example of this, as is every Shane that breezes into town, kicks the bad guys’ collective ass, and moves on. The coolest male characters are ones that show no emotion whatsoever, and certainly don’t form deep emotional connections with other humans. Which leads me to:

3. Bond, James Bond
The misogyny and colonial classism of the gentleman’s gentleman will be explored here, with our good friend 007 at the helm of our examples.

4. NERD!
Nerds are sub-males. That’s the gist of this problematic trope. Betas, as opposed to the false science of the “alpha.” Brain bigger than your biceps? Well you certainly won’t get the girl (the only goal you should be concerned with). And the extreme of this trope is the toxic seed from which incels sprout.

5. Sassy Gay Friend
This trope speaks to the deep seated fear ingrained in men of being seen as feminine, and as we have said in our overarching definition of Toxic Masculinity, a man who does not dominate is not a real man.

6. Mr. Mom
LOL, men can’t be good parents! The awful trope of the bumbling dad, nothing more than another child for moms to manage, is the trope on this list that angers me personally the most. Look for some heartfelt angry rants in this article, readers.

7. Violence is Normal
Not only is violence a normal behavior trained in boys since early childhood, it’s encouraged and even necessary in most social situations depicted by culture. Violent domination is the most commonly seen form of domination in our entertainment and arts, in the form of problematic masculine characters taking their strength and power by force.

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Well there ya go—that’s the roadmap! We’ll start with #1 next Wednesday, but it’ll be for paid subscribers only from here on out, so better get on that if this has piqued your fancy.

NOTE: “Bearskin” is a folktale, with no originating author. Though I did tell this tale in my own words, the version I most heavily got my plot points from is in the anthology Favorite Folktales From Around the World, edited by Jane Yolen. You can tell somebody modernized it slightly, as the young man has a long gun instead of a sword. But there are still horses in the inn stables, and old men still give away their daughters in marriage. Its ancient bones are there, dancing with the green-coated Devil.