Problematic Toxic Masculinity Tropes #4
NERD!
Pop Culture Detective has done a stellar duo of videos analyzing hit TV show The Big Bang Theory in the face of a few different forms of toxic masculinity. The first is a takedown of what he calls “Adorkable Misogyny,” which is a huge part of this trope and of which we’ll talk about in a sec. But the second video in their series (called “The Complicity of Geek Masculinity on The Big Bang Theory”) looks at how the stereotypically nerdy main quartet of characters is portrayed, how the jokes (if you can even call them that) are aimed and where they land, and what the show is saying about masculinity.
Watch any episode of Big Bang Theory and you’ll be subjected to a string of… well I was going to say jokes, but they’re not really written like that: each storyline is like a chain of mutual insult hurling that falls anywhere from good natured ribbing to locker room talk to outright nasty bullying to direct misogyny, and it’s all in the name of what’s (I can only assume) supposed to be seen as a group of charming lame-asses giving each other friendly shit. What it ends up being, though, is toxic in its attempts to comment on geekdom and especially, what it means to be a male nerd. The show constantly puts the nerd protagonists down as the butt of all denigrating jokes. In the guise of celebrating the nerd as hero, the show’s insidious message is, instead, that nerds aren’t real men.
Before I get into the specific description of our Problematic Toxic Masculinity Trope #4, I need to first describe a dual concept (that Pop Culture Detective covers beautifully in both his videos on BBT): Hegemonic Masculinity and Hypermasculinity.
Hegemonic, Hyper, and Masculine, Oh My
We’ll start with the first one: Hegemonic Masculinity refers to the unrealistic ideal of the masculine. It’s all those silly things that society says make you a “real” man, that we’ve already begun to cover in the first three PTMTs. Things like: a man must be big and muscular, must not be emotional nor nurturing, must be anti-feminine…yanno, all the stuff that makes up the patriarchy and damages people of all genders. This isn’t the first time we’ve talked about it in either Problematic Tropes series I’ve written, nor will it be the last.
Hypermasculinity means: the things one does in an attempt to live up to the impossible hegemonic ideal. Performative masculinity, in other words. So in Trope #4, the NERD! stereotype is engaged in constant hypermasculinity, in order to live up to an unrealistic ideal that is hegemonic masculinity. Get it? Got it? Good. Now, on to our trope analysis.
NERD! is a tale of the sub-male, the opposite of a “real” man: Nerd is soft, weak, super-smart, socially inept, subservient to men & women alike (e.g. mama’s boy, pussy whipped, “hello, McFly…”). And of course, as we’ve learned in our first three tropes: if you don’t dominate, you’re not a real man.
In this problematic trope, the domination manifests itself in constant performative masculinity—a non stop series of tests and one-upmanship in an attempt to not only prove one is a man, but to denigrate others’ attempts. Looking at Big Bang Theory in particular as our main pop culture example here (keeping hypermasculinity in mind), you can see clearly that pretty much all the jokes are one-upmanship competitive trash talking between the nerdy men, or insults back and forth about who’s more girly. The fact that Raj, the only Nerd of Color on this show, is usually at the bottom rung of this insult status ladder is telling, too—but Orientalism’s feminizing of Asian men is a whole ‘nother post, preferably not written by me, a white writer. And whenever a BBT joke isn’t either of the above things, it’s direct misogynist sniping at the few women characters in the show who tolerate these nerds’ presence.
Nerds are the opposite of the hypermasculine jocks (the hegemonic masculine ideal), and that’s where the humor of nerd character depiction comes in. They are sub-male, even infantilized (think: comic book lover, the gamer in mom’s basement, ‘wimpy’ physically, etc). Intelligence and the cultivation of same, in the hegemonic pantheon, is a non-masculine pursuit, and the NERD! Trope character often shows his intelligence in the gathering of trivial knowledge about geek culture; things like: comics, video games, superheroes, and other things that are traditionally thought of as kid stuff. Or, they’re interested in fantasy worlds, which is traditionally thought of as feminine, if not childlike.
The toxicity of this problematic trope does the following damage: Firstly, it dismisses any way of being a man other than being big, strong & athletic (see PTMT #1, Go Big or Go Home, for more details on that concept). Secondly: remember the Pappy Jack’s fake whiskey commercial, from PTMT #2? It’s in a similar vein—a toxic fear of appearing even close to feminine, also an unrelenting mockery and abuse of those who do.
Along with this fear of femininity comes a vicious cycle of bullying. Those that are largely bullied (nerds) end up being worse bullies to each other, as you can see in any episode of BBT. The main nerd characters in that show are horrible to each other (in fact the humor of the whole show centers on it), and they establish a nasty pecking order within their ranks that hinges on constant hypermasculinity. Which leads to one of the central and most toxic attributes of the NERD! trope: what Pop Culture Detective calls “Adorkable Misogyny.”
Adorkable Misogyny
Here’s how the concept of Adorkable Misogyny works in rape culture: basically, it’s okay for the nerds to be horribly sexist, even to the point of sexual harassment or assault, because they’re not real men, and so they’re portrayed as using other tactics to get sex, since they can’t use traditional masculine traits to do so. The nerd is a pathetic nice guy. His nerdiness is lame, cute, and charming, certainly not manly, so he’s not threatening like the hegemonic masculine jock, and therefore gets away (in pop culture at least) with horrific attitudes and acts, up to and including sexual assault.
Don’t believe me? Look at the rape-as-comedy scenes in two rom-com classics, Sixteen Candles and Revenge of the Nerds (and those aren’t the only two, by far). We’re supposed to cheer for the nerd who gets laid. Has he assaulted the woman in question? Well, yes—but he has to resort to trickery, he’s a nerd! He can’t get sex like a ‘real’ man, so of course rape is permitted, and even celebrated. We’re supposed to think, “Good on you, bro,” or at the very least, consider it harmless fun, instead of being horrified like we would be in real life. And what do you think this teaches (especially nerdy) young people when it comes to sex? That any tactic is okay—especially if you’re a nerd and not a real man. That consent is not important. You do whatever it takes, and if she says no? It’s not time to retreat, just time to get more creative. Pop Culture Detective goes into more detail in his excellent video—watch it for some Adorkable Misogyny subtropes, discussion of ‘lampshading,’ and further commentary on the tropes’ toxicity.
Bottom line? This trope is so cruel, man.
How about real life, though? Real men can choose empathy. Real men are all kinds of things, not just big, dumb, and full of cum. We can celebrate all kinds of men for their nobility, gentleness, nurturing, intellectual and spiritual pursuits, and yes, even the way they nerd out, without dismissing their masculinity.
Will it take time, work, and monumental patience? Sure—look at the plague-time widespread protests regarding police brutality that happened across the globe, and the controversy following them, attempts to fix the broken patriarchy. When toxic masculinity (which is often racist as well: see PTMT #3) is ingrained in society’s structure, it can be rough going to dismantle it. But we can keep non-toxic masculine ideals celebrated and continue to make new ones (see Fantastic Beasts for one potential example, though it also has other problems).
And we can declare that hegemonic masculinity is damaging nonsense, and that nerds are men too.
I am tempted to defend Big Bang Theory, which I think does have more elements than the summary suggests, but I can't argue with "Adorkable Misogyny" as a major problem of the show. Instead I'll note that it's interesting to read this the same day as Noah Berlatsky's post on Spock's sex appeal: https://www.everythingishorrible.net/p/spock-the-manliest-trek
It comes from the other direction, asking what makes the character who is presented as a contrast to the beefcake lead appealing, but is also examining the way that he expresses masculine tropes.
I'd also note that I was genuinely surprised by how good the show Chuck Lorre did after BBT, Mom, was (and, interestingly, a couple of seasons in it gets rid of almost all of the male characters who were part of the show at the beginning).