Fight Clip Club: Last Dragon

Ya bug me. Fix yer face.

I was going to cover something else for Fight Clip Club today, a classic from the dawn of cinema, and still one of the funniest fights I’ve seen to date. But. I’ve had this song in my head for 2 WEEKS, you guys: 

“…take life one day at a time-a / that’s what a wise man said to me…”

And so I’m covering this amazing martial arts classic, in an attempt to banish this (admittedly bangin’) song out of my head. Plus, this movie is one of those that’s required viewing among all the stage and martial arts combat guys I know, to this day. Do I recommend watching it? Um, gosh I really can’t. 

The Last Dragon is a truly terrible movie, not like in a so-bad-it’s-good way but just... It’s just awful. There are too many flavors of racism/racial stereotypes to even begin to count,* and the script as well as the acting is bad to the level of an ‘80s sitcom. But. Vanity (one of Prince’s chickies) is lovely and wears the best sparkly outfits I’ve ever seen, and strapping young man Taimak is also lovely. I also have a personal love of Sho’Nuff’s whole patter and his incredibly dressed posse of martial arts minions. This film is also very very quotable, and it’s funny—whenever I mention it to anyone, they’ll go ‘oh yeah!! So fun’ and they’ll proceed to either declare “Kiss my Converse” or ask loudly “Who’s the Master?”

My favorite quote is actually one of the more obscure ones. It’s when that woman with the amazing hair and rocket-pointy boobs circles Leroy and purrs, “I would like to peel this … bananaaaaaa…” It. is. unhinged and I love it so much.

What’s probably the most redeeming quality of Last Dragon, though, is its Motown legacy. The full title, after all, is: Barry Gordy’s: The Last Dragon, and as such it does play almost like a jukebox musical of ‘80s Motown hits. Which, I guess it actually is, considering that a good amount of it takes place in a sort of American Bandstand type music showcase hosted by the ethereal beauty that is Vanity. Entire songs done ‘live’ or full music videos are therefore infused into the storyline, and it really does hit you in the nostalgia feels. 

But, first and foremost, this is a martial arts movie, with our Bruce-Lee-obsessed main character in hardcore training mode, on a quest to find The Glow, or the final level of martial arts mastery. Let’s see if he succeeds.