Fight Clip Club: Cockpuncher

I don’t think you’ve got the balls…

Okay so I don’t know if this is cheating—this is not a fight from actual movie (though I dearly wish it were), nor is it a short film that stands on its own. It’s not a real ad, either. What it is, is a trailer for a nonexistent movie that appears as a plot point of sorts within the many sketches and clips that make up The Onion Movie. 

This is another one of those obscure classics in the realm of comedic martial arts, and I have to admit to being somewhat obsessed with it when it first exploded onto our screens in the early aughts. I…may have passed this obsession along to my stage combat students, as there was a period right around 2009 or 2010 when every one of the Metro Stage Combat Club’s student-made fights included cockpunching in its choreography. I’m sure you can see why—it’s the perfect mashup of every martial arts movie cliché you can think of, including its inclusion of Seagal, who does seem to be rather gleefully making fun of himself in this movie, especially with that final line. Ah, the purer days of pre-problematic Steven Seagal. Sigh…

What’s that? You’ve never heard of Cockpuncher? Oh dearie me. Well allow me to correct this terrible gap in your pop culture (cock puncher) knowledge, and share this piece of utter silliness and glory with you. Meet me after the paywall, and we’ll talk about it.