Endeavour

…yes I need this vocab word to remain in the English spelling, please autocorrect.

Am I sorry to put this toxic nabob’s form into your inboxes today? Only a little. Trust me. And let’s talk. And also, now that I look at it a little closer (barf) I’m convinced he is actually trying to do the Aum one.*

AUTHOR’S NOTE: like everything I ever write (but even more), this essay is my own hot take on all this stuff. My take, being an overeducated, underpaid recovering academic who knows how to write about words and pop culture, and enjoys it. But.

Especially in this case, I want you to understand that the things I’m going to bat around with myself here like a parrot with a nut-filled Kong toy, is all literally that. If you have different opinions about masculinity, misogyny, this particular dudebro, life, the universe, everything, or even these vocab words I’ll be riffing off of, that’s okay. Ssshh, it’s okay. Really. 

OMG look at the size of that toy! Good birdie!

My unmatched perspicacity coupled with sheer indefatigability makes me a feared opponent in any realm of human endeavour.

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Let’s begin with the image that accompanies this phrase. If you haven’t somehow had your wellbeing poisoned by the mind-vomit that is the lethal sludge of this man’s litany of misogyny and the worst morphings of masculinity, let alone his anti-intellectual pseudo-pearls-of-wisdom, then I heartily envy you. I won’t name him—that’s in the image. Go nuts looking him up. Or don’t.

What we do have here though, is a manifesto of sorts, with this pose and positioning as an assumed illustration of the phrase. First of all, the muscles here are what I would call over-clocked, and, as much as I have total respect for full bodily autonomy including any ornamental modifications one wants to do with one’s own mortal coil, this is a display of something that’s meant to impress, and yet to my eyes looks overdone. His case of weaponry isn’t particularly interesting, and his meditation mudra looks… well there’s one zen mudra I know from Japanese samurai tradition, which is a vibe I imagine he’d love to convey (the samurai, not the zen), it’s…done sort of like that but his fingers are incorrect. Either that or he’s attempting the Aum mudra, which is more used for yoga. His hands do look a bit closer to that one, but it’s supposed to be for the 3rd eye chakra.* But anyway. I do wonder if maybe he is trying to do the zazen one but can’t bear to put his hands into a shape that’s ‘neither a valley nor a mountain’ but needs it to look way more like the erection he wishes he could conjure. 

*(see caption on first image. As much as I despise giving him any credit…)

Neither a mountain nor a valley.

Why am I resorting to dick-shaming? No, you’re right, I shouldn’t stoop to that level, as much as I’m sure you can agree with me he might deserve it. But that’s the kind of toxic, paranoid hypermasculinity that’s his brand, not mine. I’m about gentlemen that are real gentle men (and yet, if need be, they will fuck you up. Appropriately). So, I’m not gonna ‘roid-shame or dick-shame this awful person. I’ll stick to observing the details I see. 

His posture here is pretty terrible. Standing like this, particularly when you’re built like this, on top of a bone structure like this, hurts. And why in profile? I find that interesting too. Let me know what you think. Normally when one sees a meditation pic, it’s someone either standing or sitting in lotus, facing the camera. I suppose the arsenal in the background and the erection mudra are more the focus here. 

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But my Friday posts are always about the vocabulary. The word or words. Let me riff on that, real quick, instead of brooding on the image that was paired with the words. To be fair, I do feel like these words and this image were carefully curated, this being a highly online-robust figure. So we’ve looked briefly at what we’ve looked at. Now let’s look at the lexicon.

Unmatched perspicacity

Nobody has the attention, shrewdness, or insights that this person has. His perspicacity is unmatched. Unmatched by anyone. Now, one could argue that if a guy needs to assert his own perspicacity as unmatched, it might be a symptom of worry. Worry that it’s in fact very matched, and even outmatched. Outstripped, even. But that’s another vocab word (plus, I’d rather he not strip more, tyvm).

Coupled

So as I was out at my ‘local’ composing the first draft of this piece, I was accosted by the young man to my right at the bar, with something rather extraordinary.

See, this young man had seen me here with my partner quite often (as indeed, we are here quite often to clear our head, have a sip and a snack, and debrief a bit from life). He said (the kid, not my partner) that we always looked so cool, and so ‘individual’ (which means probably we look weird but in a good way), and that he’d wanted to engage us in conversation before but never had the wherewithal, as it always looked like we were in the middle of a very involved, very cool conversation. He said how much he admired seeing us here together, that we were ‘goals,’ and that our relationship just looks so perfect. 

Now of course my partner and I are humans, and we are actually really very fucked up humans, and in no way are either of us perfect, let alone putting two such wild people together makes for a decidedly not perfect scenario. But what we are, though? We are masterful, insane, unhinged warriors, of a certain age (okay 50), who have worked so so hard on said relationship, who have mad (literally) respect for each other and our different and various talents, and who are indeed very much in love. 

I would never say that our couple-hood is a model for anyone else, but what I would celebrate is the emulation of putting in the hard work for such a relationship, and in finding someone to go through life with that’s bigger and better than you are. 

Sheer indefatigability

Now the word ‘sheer’ makes me think of that folktale of the Ash Lad who has to find a way to get to the Princess who’s kept in a tower that’s made of pure glass, sheer on all sides. No footholds or any way to hook a climbing rope onto it. Sheer is a slippery situation, and an unforgiving. Something that offers nothing. It’s sheer. Nothing you can do about it. Then again, something ‘sheer’ is also something transparent, see-through. If it’s sheer, you can see everything underneath.

‘Indefatigable’ is one of those words like ‘defrauded’ or ‘inflammable’ that always flummoxes me, as these words include the non- of the words. In other words (!) in my ears, ‘in’flammable should mean not-flammable. Right? ‘De’frauded sounds like the fraud was undone. ‘Indefatigable’ has two of those negativities, as well as isn’t spelled right for ‘fatigue’. I’m not confused (dude, I’m an English professor, please), but I don’t like it. Is that me being fusty? Partially. But not fully. 

Don’t get me wrong, dudebro gets the meaning and the spelling correct here, I just…

Is there a reason why a man would use ‘indefatigable’ instead of ‘tireless,’ ‘persistent,’ or ‘enduring’? 

Realm

A realm is a kingdom, ruled over by one (usually) man, but it’s also a world. It’s a word from a time where men ruled by claim of divine intervention and then a bloodline from same. Often, a Realm would have to be defended from Others with Violence. 

It’s also the word for a made-up, magical kingdom made in the imagination of a fiction creator. It’s often the word used for fiefdoms or monarchies in a Fantasy genre context. Created for the rule of one royal man. In his own mind.

Endeavour

Endeavour (even the British spelling of it) ain’t just an Inspector Morse prequel series; it’s also the name of a ship captained by one Captain Cook, who famously sailed to Tahiti, to Australia, and like: mapped Venus and did 1700s sciencey things. Which is pretty cool.  

And you can see why that ship was named that, because the word (with or without the ‘u’) defines an effortful undertaking. Which like, yeah. Tahiti in the 1700s is quite the endeavour, isn’t it. Except that’s the usage of our dudebro friend. The more precise definition is more like: a real good attempt at something hard (quiet, you). The ol’ college try, as it were. So it’s not an accomplishment, it’s an attempt at one.

Oh, and why is Inspector Morse’s first name Endeavour? Because his dad was a big Captain Cook fan. So it’s not a weird Puritan name, like Flies-From-Sin or something, but a bit of fanboy parenting. The more you know.

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So what have we learned? That Mr. Taint likes to king himself lead bro of all bros by claiming he’s everyone’s ‘feared opponent.’ And he really does mean everyone, as he’s talking about ‘any realm of human endeavour’. So. Yanno.

Also that he doesn’t know his mudras. 

Okay that’s it. As you were.

The HMS Endeavour. Out of commission as of the American Revolution, I believe. Though it has been replicated since.