Another cheat today, this one of another oldie but goodie that I originally wrote in grad school (when I was ostensibly studying for an MFA in poetry even though it didn’t end up that way), and now has been published in an online journal (this past May). I’m cheating this poem over here both to preserve or compile it into the rest of the poetry I’ve put up here. But also a big reason for today’s ‘cheat’ is that I’m grading finals right now and canNOT.
Anywho, potential CW for dark shit.
Day 21: Unbearable
*
I writhe in the bed alone
clutching a million imaginary illnesses
that become real as I brood on them.
Wrap one cloth around me
and try to breathe
When that pain wracks my bones
In between shuddering waves
I sigh in pleasure
Yes. Give me more.
Push the threshold until it dissolves
pain bleeds over into ecstasy
Yes
give me more.
Angels straddle the line.
That’s why shepherds cower
when they appear.
That’s why their music is death.
Van Gogh. Poe. Marat/Sade.
Even their names sound like moans.
When two opposite sides of the coin
melt together into mercury
unbearable
nirvana