Vocab Word o'th'Week: STATUS

Learning from the Lieutenant.

Lt. Columbo: A Study in Status

A few months ago now, I was asked to compose a rundown on Lieutenant Columbo and his masterful technique of getting self-important, socially powerful murderers eating out of the palm of his hand. I was asked to relate this process to marketing techniques in business scenarios. I jumped at the chance, as I’m very interested in the arts of manipulating status—I always teach this concept to my acting students and students of body language, as it’s an essential skill to pay attention to. Columbo is a character that’s essential viewing for anyone interested in nonverbal communication anyway, but I hadn’t connected his MO to that of business marketing before.

What a fascinating correlation! And at the time of this request, too, I was rereading bits of Chris Voss’ Never Split the Difference, a book on negotiation techniques and how they apply to the biz world, and so my brain got into a fun spin. Here is a version of that deliverable* I’ve been playing with, using a close reading of one particular scene in one example episode. I would very much appreciate commentary, creative tangents, explosions, or, maybe “just one more thing,” to help with my further developments on this topic. Also, do let me know if you’d like to hear more analysis like this, on other episodes or scenes. Any chance to nerd out about the good Lieutenant, or do a detailed deep dive into an episode, I’m in.

*Oo boy look at me, using corporate jargon. My businessman partner will be so proud…

This is a meme that’s been shared far & wide over the internet, especially during Columbo’s resurgence during the pandemic lockdown. I wasn’t able to find a good credit for it, as far as originating artist, etc. But, like, since it’s a meme, maybe it doesn’t matter?

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How to Columbo 

The concept that I want to talk about is that of STATUS. Actors use status shifts all the time to convey clear character relationships. Status in this case refers to social status, not economic status (though of course the one can certainly influence the other). 

Humans are herd animals—we constantly micro adjust our status in all social situations, professional or personal. You can raise or lower your own status, or raise or lower someone else’s. We do this in the things we say aloud but mostly this status adjusting (and perception of others’) happens in our nonverbals, our body language. 

You might think that in an important business interaction that it would be best to always dominate, to always fight for the highest status position in the room, that a higher social status is always the most powerful. Very often that’s not true. Frequently, it’s lifting the other person’s status or even lowering your own that’s the most potent choice, the move that will more readily get you what you want.

How is this possible?

Nobody in all of fiction better exemplifies the power of lowering one’s own status and raising another’s than TV’s Lieutenant Columbo. This show’s pleasing pattern is to pit a rich, powerful, intelligent and arrogant murderer, who thinks s/he has taken care of all the loose ends and is above the law, against little, rumpled, scruffy, shambling and cigar-smoking Columbo. In almost every instance, you can see how Columbo paves the way for the self-satisfied murderer to paint themselves into a corner. He does this by precisely and systematically lowering his own status while raising the murderer’s. The murderer falls for it, assuming Columbo is slow and stupid and clueless until it’s far too late. 

You’ve read those sales and negotiation manuals that maintain it’s a great idea to not out-power the other person but to deftly guide them into thinking they’ve made all the choices you want them to make. You can’t do that by commanding them, most of the time. 

So how do you actually do this? Well, how does Columbo do it?

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Let’s look at a specific example: 

Season 1, episode 4: “Death Lends a Hand”

One of the more ‘70s moments in all of Columbo is the split-screen crime scene cleanup in the murderer’s glasses, and I am so very here for it.

I highly recommend watching the whole episode, just because it’s so great. But the scene I’m dissecting begins at 25:32 in the free Amazon Prime Video version. The scene begins with Mr. Kennicut entering a lavish red room with Columbo following doggedly behind. 

Let’s start with the cast of characters in this scene:

• Mr. Kennicut, a huge newspaper mogul, widowed husband of the murdered woman.

• Lieutenant Columbo, most brilliant detective in the world, though very few people know this. 

• Private Detective Brimmer, former police detective, now a high powered and very wealthy PI with his own firm. Just recently investigated Mrs. Kennicut for adultery and attempted to blackmail her. This turned into an accidental killing, done in a moment of rage. 

Something to keep in mind whilst watching this scene: Kennicut doesn’t know anything about Brimmer’s part in the murder, nor that his wife was having an affair. Brimmer told him in an earlier scene that she had a “clean bill of health” after Kennicut hired him to find this info. Also, Columbo has not met Brimmer before he enters this scene and sees him in the room. 

Now let’s look at the initial body language: Notice, before anything is spoken aloud: Columbo’s physical mannerisms, posture, and mode of dress already establish him as someone of lower status than the other two characters in the scene. The moment a rich and/or egotistical murderer takes one look at him, any danger they may have felt pretty much goes away. There’s no way this guy is the smartest one in the room. Right? And Columbo makes a point of maintaining that demeanor.

Now let’s see how Lieutenant Columbo gets vital information out of these two high status men, in this scene. Here’s a lucky seven list of notable moments:

1. Talking to commissioner the other day / I’m only here in a supplemental capacity

2. You worked security for him? / no a personal matter 

3. I’m grateful for all the help I can get 

4. I suddenly feel much more optimistic / palmistry 

5. Seizes Brimmer’s hand before asking for permission 

6. Wrong door / Questions about golf clubs

7. Police techniques have changed since I was on the force

What do these moments tell us?

1. Notice how Columbo is letting the two high status men talk as much as possible. Brimmer comes right in with raising his own status, saying he was at a party with Columbo’s boss. This puts Columbo in his place while condescendingly referring to an “understanding” of his working class problems. 

2. Columbo hasn’t spoken hardly a word until he asks how the two men know each other. Brimmer makes the mistake of mentioning his work for Kennicut was a “personal matter,” which of course makes Columbo immediately grok that it must have had something to do with Kennicut’s wife. Already Columbo has the idea that Brimmer is somehow involved with her murder, since he’s horning his way into the case—Kennicut says that Brimmer is the one that called him to suggest he help in the investigation. And what’s with that “personal matter?”

   In the scene just before, Columbo echoes Kennicut’s odd phrase, “a clean bill of health” to mean that his wife was faithful. Not a normal way to describe that—it’s in fact quite a weirdly clinical phrase. And so already he’s thinking maybe there was some kind of professional involvement or investigation. Brimmer saying his work for Kennicut was “a personal matter” pretty much verifies this. 

3. By saying he’s grateful for the help, Columbo is going along with Brimmer’s assertion that he needs the help. By doing this, he affirms Brimmer’s high status, while lowering his own, admitting to being too busy and maybe even in over his head. This makes Brimmer feel comfortable in his continued involvement with the case—if he can keep it a formal consultancy, he thinks, he can make sure to guide Columbo where he needs him to go. Conversely, Columbo is happy to involve Brimmer, because he can keep him close enough to have an eye on him. Keeping the murder suspect close at hand is a common tactic for the Lieutenant, and it works here right away.

4. “I suddenly feel much more optimistic about this whole thing,” is a pretty clever piece of snark by Columbo—he’s basically thanking Brimmer for walking right into his hands. Literally. It’s right after this that he launches into all the palmistry nonsense, just to keep Brimmer still feeling superior and to lower his own status yet again. But look what powerful moves he’s able to accomplish by doing so. The men let him do this because they don’t feel threatened.

5. He looks at Kennicut’s palm first because he’s already created a rapport with him (he can also pretend to read his recent calamity in his palm). Notice that Columbo grabs Brimmer’s hand before asking permission. Just in case Brimmer gets offended or worried by this (or tries to pull his hand away), Columbo comes up with a whole lot of nonsensical praise: he touts Brimmer’s ambition, distinction, power, etc. This both continues to lower his own status while raising Brimmer’s even more. 

   At the end of the episode when Brimmer is caught, Columbo admonishes him, “You should never have let me read your palm.” He’s getting the details of Brimmer’s ring as he palm-reads, which is a damning clue as it matches the bruise on the murdered woman’s cheek. But Brimmer is so caught up in the praise and his smug mocking amusement at Columbo’s antics that it doesn’t cross his mind at the time.

6. Whether or not Columbo meant to open the wrong door, his bumbling further lowers his status. Which means he can pepper Kennicut with all these new questions without there being any worry on Brimmer’s side, and without it seeming like an interrogation. Brimmer basically thinks Columbo’s an idiot while Columbo continues to extract some very important clues.

   Columbo praises the golf clubs before touching them, which is what allows him to grab them, which is how he discovers they belonged to the murdered woman. He would never have gotten all this new information if he hadn’t bumbled into the closet (though I think he opens that door on purpose, I don’t have evidence either way). The golf clubs are a big clue, as the man Mrs. Kennicut had the affair with was her golf instructor. Had Columbo attempted high status choices here, he wouldn’t have gotten nearly this far. 

   The camera does cut to Brimmer during Columbo’s golf club interrogations but if he starts to feel like Columbo is getting anywhere, Columbo assures him that his questions aren’t important. He says so in so many words, reassuring both men while filing this very important information away in his memory for later. Columbo further lowers his status once more before leaving—he soothes Brimmer by cutely asking, “is this the right door?” before his exit. 

7. Success! Brimmer’s smug superior comment about police techniques being different these days tells us he’s sufficiently been pumped up and sees nothing sharp or dangerous in the Lieutenant. 

There are plenty more moments throughout this episode that are excellent studies in status, and make for a fascinating analysis of what I call the strength of “pulling a Columbo,” but you can get the picture pretty clearly just with this one scene. Let me know if you’re interested in more analysis,* especially of this episode. It’s my learned opinion that “Death Lends a Hand” is one of, if not the, most Columbo-y of all the 1970s episodes.

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Now obviously I’m not saying you should dress like a slob and act like an idiot in order to soothe your potential business clients into entering a deal. But by watching Columbo’s extreme example, you can see how a high status choice isn’t always the most powerful, and that letting the other guy speak, or praising him instead of plowing forward with your own agenda, can often work much better. It’s a study in status, and of the power of pulling a Columbo.

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*Or, ask me about my house Columbo drinking game. And please play responsibly.